First thing of love for me, should look at the opponent's feeling.
How will she feels if i scold her??
>Sad
>Scare of me don't dare to say too much to me.

How will she feels if i don't reply her nicely?
>Worry about me
>Sad
>Boring and alone
>Angry
>she will thinking that i'm pushing her away.

How will she feels if i lied her?
>Hate me
>angry
>She hates liar.

How will she feels that if i'm thinking too much?
>Worry
>sad
>she is trying to console me taking me out of the darkside.

What she wants?
>She wants me don't think negatively.
>She wants me to treat her nicer.
>She wants her freedom and space.
>She wants to be someone together when she is scare or alone.
>She wants me to be Tolerance to each other together.
>She wants me to love myself more than her.
>She wants me to save money for my own self for future.

What i want to do for her
>I will do everything for her.
>I will do my best to not thinking negatively.
>I will treat her nicer than me.
>I will love her more than my self.
>I will do as much as i can to make her happy.
>I will protect her forever.
>I will be Tolerance.
>I will try not to quarrel with her again.
>I will love her always.

Now 22/1/2010, 2009 had gone for 3 weeks... My relationship between a girl and i had gone very deep... Haiz, now i felt very down, doomed... jz felt like she is getting far away from me, was i thinking too much??? maybe... I think i shouldn't think that much, ruining my whole life... Besides, She haven't accept me to be her boyfriend, She said why is it important being GF o BF??? I think for me is a kind of real relationship, maybe could prevent those guys want chase after her... this is wat i think about it.... She believes me, She jz said she believes me... but it seemed like, she is not bothering about me... Maybe she got another guy outside i dn knw...
haiz, so down... how could i do??? She is coming back from NS until sunday, i felt like nothing... i felt like my half heart had gone.... haiz, was thinking too much???? nvm, dn wan think anymore...
if the thing belongs to me, then is mine... if not, then no... i think all these on top wat i wrote was thinking too much...^^

So miss about the moment we in MBO,
So miss about the moment we were eating together was i jz sitting right beside .
So miss about the moment we watched the fireworks together at Boulevard by the time after 2009, 12 am n 2010,
So miss about the moment you wore so pretty.
I so miss you with the song "Boys like Girls - Two is beter than one", it recalled me think about the every moments.
I can't stop missing you, because i always love you.(To somelove that i love.)

i was too complicated about girls... the girl i liked before, but nw i faded her from my brain then i got a gf... and nw she turned to like me back... but was too late to say, she regretted n too late... she only late a few days, n i found my new gf that she owes keep on supporting me by beside me...^^ thx gal, i love you...
the girl, was too sad n hurted about me that i had a gf so soon... she felt very pain in heart jz as me last time the time i liking her... that time i reli very very very hurted, but she couldnt even c abit of my pain... she was so selfish, n did her job... the action she showed me was jz i'm a consoling tool, when she is boring will find me, why need did this to me?? i jz felt tat...
nw i jz forget it, whenever she sad o wat is none of my business... But i have to tell you ppl, i reli in sad nw... bcoz i seemed like reli did wrong thing... felt reli sori to her, T.T sori Shze...

And nw, i only can do is jz continue stay hapi wth my gal... i only wan jz one... jz one.... no two...
i will keep on to enhance our relationship, i love you...^^
Thank you for reading my story, i hope you could understand my real feeling...^^
thx ya...

From: Edgar

now is 9.23pm, today is the last day of school... tmr will be SPM Examination starts, gonna feel nervous ya...^^ well, i knw my BM owes cant get a pass every time since when in primary school... i dn knw y my BM so lousy, now i had no confident to get pass of BM tmr... i gonna be screwed...^^ haiz, maybe is the fate gives me this...^^ nvm, i had ald planned my way... my parents would disagree one, so i'm trying to get rid of it...^^
if i nw study BM, would it be pass??? it will??? No, rite??? haiz, well nvm then...^^ i study other subjects then, so i will concentrate more on others...^^ if BM fail in the SPM, i couldnt get my result... so will i nid to come to school at MAC when the result out??? nid to??? i think no nid to... i knw i will fail BM, so i dn nid to go to school...^^ i got a bad feeling about this, feel a little bit regret nw... will i regret more after SPM??? will i cry??? or die??? or crazy??? or get mental problem??? ^^ anyway, i wanna live without anything... i can climb up a tall tree again from the bottom, i can chase over them, i can...^^
So i ready nw, even they like down at me. i dn care... i jz wanna do my own job is none of their business... So this is me, i suffer my self, i do my self, i earn my self...

Here, i gonna thx for my fellow school frens... i was reli hapi met all of you, i knw hapiness, i knw feeling, i knw jobs, i knw society things and so on... thx you all... thk you... u all my lovely frens, love you all...^^
i feeling like graduating is reli a sad thing in my life nw... T.T jz like separating out my own childs...^^

Anyway, i wish all SPM candidates... Wish you all gud luck, i love you all...^^

Just From: Edgar

Yesterday playing whole day

31/11/09, morning i stepped out from my home, and was going to nearby coffee shop GREEN HILL CORNER. Then i was jz sat down asked for a drink for waiting them finish their breakfast. I was about to pay the drinks, but a greedy girl i met was hanging out with us had paid the drinks payment. was about 11 smth, two of the my fren's fren wanna go for to ARENA SUKAN for palying badminton and left us three. then a fren of mine was wth her bf hanged out, but we had waited her at a shopping mall SPRING. For spending a little time, we wandering around in there, watching accersories, multimedia and so on. About half an hour, the fren that hanged out wth her bf had accompanied us. By the time, she was here. We saw two perverts were jz rite opposite us when i'm walking with three girls, but suddenly a phone had rang and the people was talking very exciting like someone dying soon. In fact, is not some one. Was jz her dog vomitted bloods, so tried to bring her back as soon as possible before the dog DIE!!! From the SPRING to MATANG needs take 20-30 minutes after to reached. After that, Back again to SPRING for no reason. Jz picked up those frens who left in the SPRING before got off, then go to KENYALANG for a lunch and wandering then take off... The girl besides me sitting very enjoy, because i am the one who drives the car whole day long until going home.
4 smth in the evening, the rain down heavily. Can't even drive fast, road blurred, whole kuching electricity shutted down for awhile, damn jammed traffic along the high way. The rain was too heavy, we dropped by the coffee shop for avoid the rain. I got all wet, damn suffering the wetting cloth, Disgusting. I called a hot milk to maintain my body temperature, because i was shivering with the cold weather beyond the heavy rain. But the rain still heavy, so we planned to go home first then go out again.
7 smth in the evening and night, we drove to picked all them up again. But Sorry to my other fren i had broke the promise for going to E-mart for looking some dress and female clothes.
T.T , Guilty.
We went to VOGUE, my best fren invited me to go this kind a restaurant. But then he didnt makes up the promise, damn!!! But thanks to my best fren, because i had never went to that place before. Was very romantic restaurant, the foods and drinks were jz normal. (Feel sorry if there is any ppl disagree wat i had jz said, jz leave a comment....)
Anyway, after the dinner. We went to BOULEVARD again. Damn tired, but we had enjoy in there and also saw another fren working a small shop in there. Unfortunately, i saw the girl again that i had mention that greedy girl. She was jz in the same shopping mall with us, that bitch. XD But nevermind, i don't mind it. So we together went for shopping spending time, time flied fast. Already 9.30pm, the shopping was closing down. My fren of girl drop me down at 688 nearby, then i took another fren's car to went back here.
Then in the end, i'm home finally. And now i'm getting tired to type more and more. Next time i will give more story to you all. Well, gudnite then.

Just From: ShinZ

October, 7.59a.m., 14/10/2009, I'm very hard now, feel my heart really really pain. Extremely pain, i can't stand for some time. Am i too scary? Why i can't know about her as well? Am i not enough good?? Can somebody tell me??? Why i don't even understand??? Why?? Why?? Why??
Why she doesn't really believe me??? Need time for her???
From the things i had said jz nw made me recall that i reli had did wrong to her. Actually, i'm not reli wanna hurt her. I want to console her, just used the wrong method consoling her. The first time i see her, made me had a good feeling in my heart, felt very comfortable. When after awhile, i found out we often quarrel to each other. I knew our attitute were totally same, is not we were different worlds. And now she felt scare of me, i think i said smth wrong made her scared of me. I didn't know why...
Shze, I really want you, I need your believe. My heart very very pain.(Patient, patient, patient............................!!!!!!) I can accept everything, let the passed be. I don't want the passed, i want our future. Only future could makes us have a great time for fun, play, care, love...........
I waiting you until you accept me, I'm serious. I couldn't find another girl as alike you, no one can replace you.
All i want is BELIEVE. I want the BELIEVE could get inside you and me, Love needs BELIEVE.
No BELIEVE, no prosperous and never have Love.

I'm waiting after tomorrow and tomorrow.

Just From: Edgar a.k.a Shinz
8.17 a.m.

September, every time i'm doing paper stars i will think of her. When playing sms with her, don't know why always have a bad feeling cursing me inside my heart. I'm so afraid of losing her, i think i found my true love. Hope she is, She is just like me angel. I will always be right her side to take care of her, and protect her. I love her, hope she knows.
Got boring this month, feel don't like to study this sudden. Haiz, damn shit. Can't concentrate on study, getting worst soon. Damn!! *sigh* I wanted to know my life, what is my future?? what will going on to me?? die soon?? Single?? Poor??? Rich?? Normal??? or Alone?? The future will can't see always making me nervous. Now, i feel heartless, keep on thinking her. She's sleeping, while i was just called her. She seemed like really doesn't want to bother me, maybe i'm thinking too much making me myself got down.*sigh* My life so hard. Be positive, these thing i will handle it my own self. It is nth for me, is just a piece of cake. Is not hard nut to crack. I will be strong, i will get her, i want to take care of her, and i want to love her forever. Thank you!!! This is the end of my speech, i have not yet done my speech. Just will continue on the next story, new feeling on next story. Hope you enjoy it!!!

11.40pm
(21/9/2009)